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 Well everyone... I'm now a widow

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Nancy AABB Admin
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PostSubject: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 4:16 pm

My dear husband Robert died Friday night.
I just need to tell you all. I haven't been around a lot since cancer is an evil vile POS.
It sucks you dry physically, emotionally and financially.

xoxoxo
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Nancy AABB Admin
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 5:11 pm

Ha.. my daughters did this for me:

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Cousin_Jake
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 6:07 pm

I'm so sorry Nancy. I know that there is little we can say to console and comfort you but please know we're thinking of you.
I hope you feel surrounded by love.
Take care.
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Gimme
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 6:42 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you have plenty of family surrounding you and giving you lots of hugs & love.
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carra
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 8:41 pm

I'm so very sorry Nancy. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.


Last edited by carra on November 12th 2017, 8:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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catty
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 8:45 pm

Sad I'm so sorry Nancy.  Cancer is a horrible disease.  I hope you take some comfort knowing he is no longer suffering because it's really hard to see someone you love go through it.  I hope that doesn't sound bad, it's what has always given me some peace when loved ones have passed from cancer.  Big hugs to you and I have no doubt you are surrounded by love and support.

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Gail
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 12th 2017, 9:17 pm

Oh, Nancy...I am so sorry to hear this.
Sad

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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 13th 2017, 7:43 am

Nancy, I am so sorry. I hope you can find peace with your loss. Cancer really sucks. cheek kiss
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 13th 2017, 12:22 pm

Nancy I am so very sorry to hear this!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time. Cancer is horrid and pure evil. God Bless Robert and you.
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kaper
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 13th 2017, 5:11 pm

Gut wrenching news. I am so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family.
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nosyrosie
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 13th 2017, 6:29 pm

I'm so sorry, Nancy. Prayers and thoughts for you and your family during this difficult and sad time.
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 13th 2017, 8:29 pm

I hoped to find you here Nancy. Unbelievable this happened to Robert so fast. I love you
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 13th 2017, 11:29 pm

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss Nancy. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers during this difficult time.
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Frances
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 14th 2017, 4:54 am

"...cancer is an evil vile POS."

I have other less lady-like words on my mind but you did a good job describing cancer.

It's been awhile since I've talked to anyone. I love you, Nancy and think of you often. If you feel up to it, let us know how you are faring or tell us stories about Robert.
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bergen
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 15th 2017, 8:57 am

Nancy, I am so sorry.
I thought and prayed for you guys often.
I hope at this time you and your family can find some peace and serenity.
xoxo
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bergen
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 21st 2017, 7:26 pm

How are you Nancy?
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kaper
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 22nd 2017, 2:25 pm

This holiday season, where all around you people are celebrating the joy, will be hard on you. It does get better. My heart and prayers are with you.
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 23rd 2017, 4:19 pm

Thinking of you Nancy! You're in my thoughts and prayers!
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Nancy AABB Admin
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 24th 2017, 3:28 am

Up early this morning. My rescue Basset started whining in his carrier. I am really attuned to him just like I was with my babies. I just had to get up and see what he wanted.

I spent yesterday with my husband's brothers house. Laura and her girlfriend went with me.
They have a large family so there were toddlers, kids and family all around. Great food and wine too.
It was nice. I did feel a cloud over me, but I held it together. I didn't want anyone to get uncomfortable.

What bugs me most is all the paperwork and calling you have to do after a spouse passes.
Most people have been good. Surprisingly, AT&T was the nicest. THey didn't give me the run-around and waived the balance on my husband's phone. We had bought it on a monthly plan.

The worst has been my life insurance!! The very one I need the most. I still haven't received the papers that I have to send in with the death certificate to start the process.

Oh, and Social Security. The woman I called was a really witch. I had to call about a year ago to the same office and got a lovely helpful person. So, with them it is obviously who answers the phone.

I've been surprised how I have handled the grief. I've always been one to hold it together. However, sometimes I will just breakout bawling. It's the weirdest triggers. I do this when alone though.

Thanks all for asking. It felt good to write a little.


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Gimme
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 26th 2017, 4:29 pm

Nancy, my mother passed in January.  We were very close.  She was the one that worried about every little thing to the point where it would drive Clay & I nuts... that being said the grief hits me when I am alone as well.  I kept having the re occurring  thoughts & dreams, that I didnt do the funeral right.  I was not getting any sleep at all.  One night, I got on my knees & begged to help me let it go... that particular thing finally went away.

As far as paperwork... good lord.  The first few months seems like the worst.  Getting my mom's release on her 401k was a real treat.  She had us listed as beneficiaries on everything except that... I think her plan was to live off that income since she retired & didnt see a need to list a bene.  After months of bitching we finally got it taken care of... but lawd the hoops I had to jump thru.

Glad to see you are doing ok & handling things.  I know your loss runs very deep.  I hope your holidays go as easy on ya.
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catty
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   November 27th 2017, 10:47 pm

I've been thinking of you a lot. And it's good to cry. Hugs to you Nancy.

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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   December 1st 2017, 7:40 pm

oh Nancy!
I just saw this, I got nothing, cause I never found a thing that eased my grief or loss.
family around me, words, nada. Only thing that made the bearing it easier was time.
sorry for all you and Robert and your family endured and are still enduring.
I am so, so sorry. wish I had magic words.
I hate cancer.
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   December 22nd 2017, 5:31 am

Sorry to hear this

#cancerisanasshole
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   December 25th 2017, 8:36 pm

Wishing you a Happy Holidays Nancy and hoping you can find peace, memories, and strength this holiday season xoxo
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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   February 1st 2018, 4:50 pm

Nancy, I haven't signed on here since last August. I am very sorry to hear of Robert passing. I was busy in Arizona taking care of my brother until he passed in September. I so understand the paper work. My brother was a retired vet so I really had paper work. I am now the last of my family with the exception of my children and their fams. Now I live in Nebraska as of 30 days ago.
Hope paper work straightened out for you and are finding some joy in the good memories. Everyone's grief is different and I say it takes as long as it takes. I am still sad sometimes over my daughter's death but I have a good life.

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PostSubject: Re: Well everyone... I'm now a widow   February 7th 2018, 6:12 pm

Nancy...I am so very sorry. Hugs!
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