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simple
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PostSubject: my son   April 24th 2012, 5:31 pm

my son died on april first, he was just 18, we don't know why, just that it was congenitial heart failure. I have wanted to let you know for a while, butr I know that you don't know me . I have been a member since the beginning and I feel like I know a lot of you. I just wanted to say how so very sad and in pain that I feel and I just don't know how to survive this. I know a few of the ladoersw obn here hhave been thru some trajedies and help would be great . I just sdon't know how to keep going.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 5:53 pm

My heart is breaking for you. I pray you find a way.
Wish I had the words to say but I know there r people
here that can help. I am so very sorry this happened
to your son and your family.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 5:58 pm

Simple, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my son August 17 of last year. I wish I could be of some help, but it's still so fresh for me that I am pretty much non-functioning. You will survive this, I am and I never thought I would. All my thoughts and prayers will be coming your way. Keep people close and don't isolate yourself, (like me), cry when you need to. I wish I could come up with some magical potion for the both of us.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 6:16 pm

Simple, I am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you. Hug wrap up in arms

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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 6:24 pm

Simple, my heart breaks for you. I think this is the hardest loss any person will ever face. There is no comfort for this loss but please know that we are thinking of you and wish we could shield you from this pain, though we all know that is impossible.
Your son will never be forgotten by those who knew and loved him.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 6:37 pm

I am so so sorry. I wish there was something I could do but remember we are always here for you. Let us hear from you and we will try to work though all this together.

I did send a facebook message to Kelli, I know she may have some words to help having been thru this.

Blue eyed it was good to hear from you. I think of you often.

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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 6:52 pm

simple, I join everyone here in just wanting to comfort you and give you ((hugs)). I know your son would want you to find a way to put one foot in front of the other through these dark days, and I just hope your warm thoughts of him will help sustain you through it.

blueeyed is so right in the advice she gave, and let me just say, blue, that I think about you very often...in fact, I just checked your twitter today to see if you had posted lately. Both of you ladies and Kelli and the others are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hug wrap up in arms


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Maureen
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 6:59 pm

Right now there are no words of any comfort I can say, Simple...you just suffered the greatest loss in any Mom's life.
Blueeyed and Kelli too have lost sons way too young, so in a few months when you feel like talking about it I am sure they will listen and totally understand your pain ...as we all will.
God be with you, sweetheart.
(((((((((((((((((((((Simple))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 7:20 pm

Oh my, simple, I'm so very sorry for your loss. blueeyed and a few other posters have lived this loss along with you, maybe they can help you. I could never imagine having that kind of loss in my life. We're all here whenever you need to talk. So very sorry Sad
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 7:54 pm

Simple, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I hope you have loved ones around you to help you get thru these difficult days.

I am sending you a private message with my phone number. Please don't hesitate to call me when you feel like talking. You can call me day or night.

There is no cure or quick fix to surviving. Just take it day by day and sometimes, second by second. I never thought I would survive either, and the only reason I'm still here is because of my son. He may not be on this earth anymore, but I know he's watching, and that he worries about me and how I'm handling this. I just can't disappoint him by checking out early.

Take care of you. Make sure you eat and get plenty of rest. And reach out to friends and family who you can rely on. Talk, talk, and talk some more. You may want to find a grief counselor in your area. You may also want to talk to your Dr to see about getting on an anti depressent, if you haven't already.

There are some great books out there that I can recommend. There's also a wonderful website and oranization called The Compassionate Friends. They have live chats a few days a week that were a great help to me when I was sitting home alone.

Parents who have lost children are compassionate and sincere in helping other parents who are suffering. Other people can be wonderful, don't get me wrong, but no one understands what you truly feel and deal with, than another parent who lost a child. That organization also holds meetings so you may want to search for a local chapter in your area.

I know you are overwhelmed right now so if all this info is too much, just come back to it in a few months.

Hugs to you simple and please keep posting. The people on this site are absolutely the most compassionate, caring, sincere group of people I have met on the internet. They are here for you whenever you need them.


Hug wrap up in arms
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 7:56 pm

Simple I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers and as many have said your son would not want you to be sad, he'd want you to go on.

Blue its nice to hear from you as well!!!

What you ladies (Kelli also) have been through I couldn't fathom I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but please know that my heart goes out to you all!!! Come here, talk, vent, whatever you need to do....we're here for you!!

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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 8:32 pm

Oh (((simple)))....I'm so so sorry. I wish I could do something to make you feel better. There are some truly amazing people here who will offer to help. You will be in my thoughts always.

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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 9:16 pm

I am so sorry to hear this news, simple. Please know I will keep you in my thoughts and daily prayers.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 9:30 pm

Hug wrap up in arms very sorry for your loss
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 10:30 pm

KelliM wrote:
Simple, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I hope you have loved ones around you to help you get thru these difficult days.

I am sending you a private message with my phone number. Please don't hesitate to call me when you feel like talking. You can call me day or night.

There is no cure or quick fix to surviving. Just take it day by day and sometimes, second by second. I never thought I would survive either, and the only reason I'm still here is because of my son. He may not be on this earth anymore, but I know he's watching, and that he worries about me and how I'm handling this. I just can't disappoint him by checking out early.

Take care of you. Make sure you eat and get plenty of rest. And reach out to friends and family who you can rely on. Talk, talk, and talk some more. You may want to find a grief counselor in your area. You may also want to talk to your Dr to see about getting on an anti depressent, if you haven't already.

There are some great books out there that I can recommend. There's also a wonderful website and oranization called The Compassionate Friends. They have live chats a few days a week that were a great help to me when I was sitting home alone.

Parents who have lost children are compassionate and sincere in helping other parents who are suffering. Other people can be wonderful, don't get me wrong, but no one understands what you truly feel and deal with, than another parent who lost a child. That organization also holds meetings so you may want to search for a local chapter in your area.

I know you are overwhelmed right now so if all this info is too much, just come back to it in a few months.

Hugs to you simple and please keep posting. The people on this site are absolutely the most compassionate, caring, sincere group of people I have met on the internet. They are here for you whenever you need them.


Hug wrap up in arms

KelliM...you said it all beautifully, i lost my son at the age of 19 over 27 years ago...The Compaassionate Friends helped me a lot
Simple i'm so sorry you have to go through this. but know that your son is always with you and there will be a time that the pain in your heart will go away and you will feel only the love that you had for him. also know that its ok to not go on as usual... everyone handles loss different. you will find what works for you. i know that i made a lot of crochet blankets and did a lot of 1000 piece puzzles that 1st year....things that i could do to keep busy.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 10:34 pm

thank you all. I am really tired right now but will write in a couple of days I have 100 kids at the golf course tommorrow so I need to suck it up until saturday when I should get a break from work. you are all so helpful and I read hear every day. Its my get away from life place, so I didn't want to post but I guees I just couldb]n't help myself. please please keep those amazing race and others going, I love reading your opinions.


Iam ok, I just want to die. I won't do it. but that is my wish and I need to get out of this frame of mind. I won't take pills unless I am actually a danger to myself or others. I don't want to numb the pain, I just want to be who knows... just really hurts
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 24th 2012, 11:41 pm

simple wrote:
thank you all. I am really tired right now but will write in a couple of days I have 100 kids at the golf course tommorrow so I need to suck it up until saturday when I should get a break from work. you are all so helpful and I read hear every day. Its my get away from life place, so I didn't want to post but I guees I just couldb]n't help myself. please please keep those amazing race and others going, I love reading your opinions.


Iam ok, I just want to die. I won't do it. but that is my wish and I need to get out of this frame of mind. I won't take pills unless I am actually a danger to myself or others. I don't want to numb the pain, I just want to be who knows... just really hurts

I give you so much credit for working. I was off for 1.5 months, went back for 2 weeks, left for 2 months, went back for three months and am off again. Take time for yourself; I just want to die too, everyday, so I understand what you mean. For me, I'm not the same person I was 8 months ago and I never will be that person again.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 4:33 am

I'm so sad to read this my dear "simple". Yes, you have been with us from the very beginning. You are a woman of few words, but a big heart. You know we will be here for you night and day. If you need anything, just ask.
I wish I could hug you right now and dry your tears.
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KelliM
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 9:57 am

blueeyed wrote:
simple wrote:
thank you all. I am really tired right now but will write in a couple of days I have 100 kids at the golf course tommorrow so I need to suck it up until saturday when I should get a break from work. you are all so helpful and I read hear every day. Its my get away from life place, so I didn't want to post but I guees I just couldb]n't help myself. please please keep those amazing race and others going, I love reading your opinions.


Iam ok, I just want to die. I won't do it. but that is my wish and I need to get out of this frame of mind. I won't take pills unless I am actually a danger to myself or others. I don't want to numb the pain, I just want to be who knows... just really hurts

I give you so much credit for working. I was off for 1.5 months, went back for 2 weeks, left for 2 months, went back for three months and am off again. Take time for yourself; I just want to die too, everyday, so I understand what you mean. For me, I'm not the same person I was 8 months ago and I never will be that person again.

It does hurt, simple. It's the worst pain ever. I know you want to die and I completely understand. Most Mom's who have lost their child or children, feel the same way. Death is no longer a fear but a welcome relief to the pain. But just remember that your son would not want that for you. He wants you to be here on earth until it's your time. I have no doubt that he's with you everyday, wishing you weren't so sad.

I understand about not wanting to numb the pain. I tried the anti depressants as well but no pill is gonna take away the hurt. You may just want to get some xanax for the anxiety or just to calm you down a little. Massage therapy can work wonders as well. A warm aromotherapy bath works too.

And Blue is right, we are forever changed. We just have to go on and continue breathing. No one said it was gonna be easy, but with the right people around you, you can make it.

Kiss of Love
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 9:57 am

I'm so sorry you lost your son. I wouldn't wish that kind of torture on my worst enemy. Hug wrap up in arms
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 10:25 am

thanks to all of you, I feel better today
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 10:55 am

So sorry to hear about your son. It has to be hardest thing for a parent to endure.

One minute, then one hour, then one day at a time. You will get through this - for him.

Simple - do you have other children?
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 4:00 pm

simple - I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain. I'm glad today is better for you. We are ALWAYS here for you no matter what. Hugs to you!
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PostSubject: Re: my son   April 25th 2012, 5:01 pm

I am so sorry simple, I don't know what to say. My heart aches for you and your family, as well as your sons friends. Thoughts and prayers that you can get through this.

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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 12:41 am

Has anyone heard from Simple?
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 1:29 am

Her name is among those who visited during the past 24 hours. I have been thinking of her too.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 4:59 am

I'm still here, thank you
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 6:28 am

Simple, I am so very sorry for your loss.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 9:35 am

So sorry for your loss simple.As you can see I don't post much,but I just saw this and I had to let you know how bad I feel for you and your family.My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 9:44 am

Good to hear from you simple. I think of you daily. Hugs!
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 5:58 pm

Hug wrap up in arms

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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 6:09 pm

I think of you often, simple. I know Sunday will be difficult, especially your first holiday. I hope you and your daughter can spend some time together on that day.

I hope you know you don't always have to be strong for everyone else.

I'm here if and when you need me!! Hug wrap up in arms
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 4th 2012, 7:56 pm

Thinking of you, simple. Hug wrap up in arms
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 13th 2012, 4:20 pm

group hug Thinking about you simple and to the other moms who are going through the same thing.

And to those who have lost your moms also.

All of you are in my thoughts today.

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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 13th 2012, 5:02 pm

Thank you, happy mothers day to all
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 13th 2012, 6:38 pm

Hugs simple!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: my son   May 31st 2012, 12:39 am

Hug wrap up in arms Hug wrap up in arms
You are always in my thoughts.
Hug wrap up in arms Hug wrap up in arms
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PostSubject: Re: my son   June 1st 2012, 12:40 am

Of course we know you, you were with us from the beginning. When you want to die, scream, cry, rip your hair out and hate the world, or crawl under the covers and never come out.. reach out to others. We need each other to get through life's hardships. Especially what you are going through.. nothing could be more difficult. Nothing. Thank you for letting us into your world, and allowing us to provide you whatever support you need. I miss you dear friend and I am so so sorry.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   June 1st 2012, 3:45 pm

Thank you, I am doing ok.
there really isn't anything else I can say except thank you and I'm ok.
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PostSubject: Re: my son   June 1st 2012, 5:53 pm

simple wrote:
Thank you, I am doing ok.
there really isn't anything else I can say except thank you and I'm ok.

Those few words say alot. I'm glad you're ok, even though I know you're not really ok....if that makes sense.

I'm still here for you if you ever need a shoulder or an ear. Hug wrap up in arms
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