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blueeyed
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   September 5th 2013, 10:10 pm

Thanks Bergen, everyday is a struggle.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   September 6th 2013, 1:44 pm

Thinking of you blueyed!

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   September 7th 2013, 4:48 am

Thanks Dana, but you just take care of yourself and your beautiful family, that's all I need!
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   September 7th 2013, 10:30 pm

Hugs Blue!!! I don't say that enough to you, but I'm here for you!!! Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 8th 2013, 11:59 pm

I have to update because I saw my post on September 5 and it was not good and after knowing Dana's struggles I feel very selfish.  

Well, I must have been having a not-so-good day that day because in general I am finally, finally starting to feel like a human being again.  I hit the two year mark in August and a monthish before a friend of mine also began to deal with her own tragedy.  

It feels and sounds weird to me but I feel like my friend could use a friend that truly understands so I feel like I need to be there for her and being there can also help me.  Over the last couple of weeks I have made what I think are big strides.  I have been trying to get of the house everyday for at least an hour, (normally it would be daily, but for 10 to 30 minutes only) doing something productive.  I've had my house cleaned from top to bottom, which feels great!  I didn't realize letting me house go so bad really weighted heavy on my shoulders.  Went out and bought a new mattress, only to get home and realize my refrigerator was not longer working!  Well if I had used the fridge on a regular basis I may have know sooner - lol.  But rather than let it get me down, I went and bought a new fridge today and while waiting for the paperwork looked at new stoves!  Ok, let's not get ahead of ourself, its not like I'm going to start cooking or anything.  The moral:  I think I actually care that my house is clean, I will have a new bed to sleep in tomorrow, I have a fridge that will work (it gets delivered friday) and have plans both this weekend and next!  

Kelly - I love you, you are my strength!  (Also the reason I stay out of the Amanda thread - lol)
Dana - I admire you so much, keep on fighting you are wonderful.  

Ladies one and all:  Thank you for this place that I can come to and talk about Daniel and the aftermath, you have no idea how much it means to me.  I love you all.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 12:30 am

Aww, blue, it makes me really happy to read your post! It is so healthy for you to care - I understand that very well. And we will always care when you want to post about Daniel - just know that. Very Happy Hope you have a great time both weekends!

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 1:12 am

Thank you for posting blueeyed ... I'm so happy that you're making such positive strides.
I'm sure that your support and understanding will give strength to your friend.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 1:24 am

Oh, Blue, I love you. thank you for your post. I often wonder how you are doing.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 5:02 am

awwwww Blue, I am so happy for you!
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 7:41 am

(((Blue)))) I'm am so glad you are finally in a good place in your life.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 9:20 am

so happy for you Blue! continued prayers going your way
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 10:01 am

bravo bravo bravo happy dance 2 happy dance 2 happy dance 2 
 
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
You know I love you too and yes, helping someone else also helps YOU.  I'm so proud of you for taking care of household things.  I know what it's like to let your house go  (there are a few too many cobwebs in my house as we speak.  lol)  
 
I'm so happy about the new mattress and new fridge too.  Buying stuff and making home improvements make us feel so much better!!
 
You have so many reasons to be proud of yourself.  Look at how far you've come in 2 years.  You truly are stronger than you think and I know Daniel is soooooooo very proud of you.
 
Kiss of Love
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KelliM
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 11:21 am

And OMG on you staying out of the Amanda thread on my account. You are too funny!!! I promise I would NEVER EVER hold anything Big Brother against you. No way would that happen!!!

So please post away!!!!!!! Kiss of Love 
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 11:31 pm

KelliM wrote:
And OMG on you staying out of the Amanda thread on my account.  You are too funny!!!  I promise I would NEVER EVER hold anything Big Brother against you.  No way would that happen!!!

So please post away!!!!!!!     Kiss of Love 
Oh, trust me, it doesn't hurt to stay away. lol! 
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 9th 2013, 11:39 pm

I'm so happy to hear from you blue.

I'm so glad the days are getting brighter.

Thank you for sharing his life with us. <3

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 10th 2013, 6:40 am

Blue....huge hugs for you!!!

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   October 11th 2013, 2:29 pm

Thanks everyone.  My best analogy (sp?) is:  my feet are stuck in mud and I'm just starting to wiggle my toes on one foot.   lol
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 1st 2014, 7:45 pm

New update! lol.  

I started on page 1 and saw those awful tweets I tweeted when it happened.  Though those feelings are still just under the surface, I finally, finally feel that the scar tissue is growing over the wound and its not so open and fresh anymore.  

I want to thank you ladies with all of my heart, this is the only place I can really put my feelings down, its like therapy.  

A little bit of a landmark today......Daniel and I always went to breakfast on the weekend.  When he was young we always had a tv show that we would watch together (no phones, no other people) so we could just have "us" time.  As he grew up the tv show kinda faded away, the last one was Lost.  We would watch it every Wednesday.  Well I still needed my "us" time so I came up with breakfast on the weekend.   Well today, I just had the worst craving for "breakfast" and I went with a friend and I thought it would be hard, but we just chatted all thru breakfast and then did a little shopping after and it felt great!  

Kelly thanks for talking to me the other day, its so wonderful to have someone that understands.  I'm glad we are able to laugh and cry together.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 1st 2014, 8:00 pm

That's wonderful blueeyed!

Hug wrap up in arms 

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 1st 2014, 8:12 pm

I'm so happy to read this, blue! Nothing can change what happened to Daniel, but it's great to read that you are being blessed with ways to honor his memory and putting some positive things back in your life! You are a testimony to many of us (Kelli and others are, too), and we are blessed to 'know' you a bit here!! group hug

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 1st 2014, 8:16 pm

Blueeyed,so glad you are coping so well. Time helps. You are very brave.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 1st 2014, 9:28 pm

big hug 
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 2nd 2014, 5:43 am

group hug 
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 2nd 2014, 7:47 am

Blueeyed, I'm so happy to read this. Our hearts have ached for you and for Kelli and I admire your strength and courage.
Please continue to let us know how you're doing anytime you feel like it.
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 2nd 2014, 8:54 am

Thank you for sharing with us the journey you are on, about something I feel is the greatest challenge a mother can possibly encounter in life. I really appreciate you opening yourself to us sharing your pain and the process of healing.


Last edited by Moody on June 3rd 2014, 5:39 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 2nd 2014, 10:51 am

I'm so happy to hear that things are getting better for you. Hugs!!
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 2nd 2014, 8:39 pm

Blue I'm really happy to read this. I think of you so often!!! Hugs!!

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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 2nd 2014, 11:11 pm

I loved talking to you the other day and I really really loved how great you sounded on the phone!! I can truly tell a huge difference in your voice since our last conversation.

I am so proud of you for taking such huge steps. They are milestones and with each one, the pain will diminish somewhat.

And I want you to know that you help me as much as I help you, and I thank you for listening and for being there for me as well.

We are in this together girl!! I love you!!!

And I agree with Denise, this site has been a big help for us both. You all are such a wonderful, supportive group. No matter what tiny squabbles we may have over big brother houseguests, when it comes down to it, we all have each other's backs and we are here when someone is in need. Your kind words and heartfelt messages help so much when we are feeling so sad and alone without our boys.

Hugs to everyone!!!  Hug wrap up in arms 
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 3rd 2014, 1:20 am

((((((((((((((99Blueeyed))))))))))
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PostSubject: Re: Blueeyed   June 3rd 2014, 5:52 am

So glad to hear it sweetie!
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